People talk about mid-life crises. The not-so-young body and a still young mind that can come to its youthful vibe when those old buddies are around. I had a similar rendezvous recently. These reunions happen time and again, specifically when one of those 'abroad-dwellers' comes back and wants to catch up. One or two folks coming from abroad prompts a few of those locals to catch up with the returnee as well as those around town. The travails of modern life, the rush to scale one steep hill of modern life after another or getting busy in those petty and never-ending chores of a mid-life situation do not provide a lot of opportunities to be together and have a light moment. Perhaps, specially for me, there is a level of deterrence from catching up with same old face too frequently. One finds not enough material to talk about or has too few items of news to share. And there is the social media that tends to keep others updated about what you do in your kitchen to what you talk about in your boardrooms. There is simply not much interersting stuff to talk about. Or my mind is simply too shy to socialize too often and repeat those same mild-profanity-laden gossip among friends.
But whenever the occasion presents itself, there are a few of us who are really 'close' to each other who do want to make good of it. The 'closeness' is such that the talk often becomes noisy, full of those college-day dirty words, benign back-biting of colleagues, sharing of experiences, talks of fulfillments and regrets, those crests and troughs of family & professional life, and, indeed, making plans for future. Some wild, absurd plans and some pretty serious ones as well.
Above all the sharing and mutual enlightenments, the thing I like most about these college buddy reunions is the feeling of boyish (or girlish, for that matter) mischievousness that is most fun and gratifying. That one can talk any crap and the people around will not give a damn about it. They might even revel in it. Add a few shots of that golden booze and the talk gets even more euphoric, enthusiastic and energetic. Suddenly, many dreams come to the fore and collide with each other. Lightheartedness overcomes the sense of heavy boredom caused by the hectic modern, middle-class life of rush and half-met aspirations. We become the same old college kid with some shades of grown-up enlightenments.
With almost all the close buddies abroad, these reunions are becoming even more rare. However, the prize of rarity is that whenever it happens, it causes the utmost level of unabated ecstasy. Altercations, mutual bashing, ear-to-ear smiles, devouring of limitless plates of snacks and downing of uncounted classes of drinks all amalgamate to create an experience that, with some snaps shared over social media, ends up causing immense sense of pain and loss for those who are left out of it. That one can create that feeling of loss and envy on those missing out, ironically, is another matter of joy and glory for those who participate in the event.
I have to confess I am not the one to make such reunions happen. But it is my great luck to have a few pals who remember not to forget me. Poor me that I still miss almost half of those. But whenever I am able to make it, it really overhauls my system, charges my batteries and makes me ready for another bout of rough ride through that perilous road of middle-aged professional family person's boring, hectic and anxious life.
It is a stage of life when one thinks more about family, kids and future rather than about oneself and the present moment. It is a stage when there are more regrets and feelings of misses than those of aspirations and achievements. It is that stage of anxiety and uncertainty that is very aptly called 'mid-life crisis'. It is when one stops dreaming about changing the world but still wants to make some kind of impact. It is a stage when one consoles oneself by repeating the old adage that it is never late to start something good but one still has the gut feeling that it is already too late. Even in this torrid stage of life, these rare gatherings give me and (i dare to claim) others like me a moment of joy and genuine, wholesome refreshment. It's all because of those handful of people among billions that one can really call 'buddies'.
Thanks buddies. You make my day and many days following the one I am with you.
18 December 2022
