Most motivational and spiritual thinkers advise this: do not react, respond. It is simple but profound. It is very apt for everyday life. It is easy to remember but hard to implement. It is easy to advise but hard to adopt. Same is true with me. I am not a spiritual preacher or a motivational speaker or any of that sort. Still, I oftentimes find it hard to resist the temptation to advise others, to respond and not react spontaneously. Especially with my kids, junior colleagues and close-to-heart friends, I feel compelled, competent and confident to share those words of advice.
Alas, when it comes to walking the talk, I more often than not slip and sometimes completely flounder. And when that happens, I spend days contemplating what transpired, thinking it over from every angle possible. I churn it, dissect it, analyze it and scrutinize it. Though I often try to blame the other side for the turn of events, upon much reflection it turns out that I am the one to blame. Had I not reacted in a certain way, the situation would have been entirely more positive. With a little prudence and in-situ compromise, I would have avoided the days of regret, head spinning churning of events and a sense of insufficiency as a responsible person. In short, most of the times, I find myself at fault. A fault that could be avoided without much effort and sacrifice or compromise on my part.
Today, something similar happened. I was to drop my better half at an outlet in town and since the place did not have parking, I opted to move 200 meters ahead and wait on the side of the road. That side is often used for short-term parking and I have seen many vehicles standing there almost daily. I sidelined and waited, the engine of my Swift still revving. While I was thus waiting, two traffic policemen approached. One banged rather hard on my card and nonchalantly gestured me to move ahead as it was not allowed to park there. Perhaps it was the rather rough banging of his that put me off. I immediately 'reacted' and tried to counter him. I should just have moved on without entering into argument with the lad but all my prudence was subdued by my pride at being so called 'sophisticated sane man' and I thought small of the officer. That officer was doing duty and the duty of a traffic police on the roads of Kathmandu is perhaps among the most stressful ones. It is a fact I did not consider then.
After my rather aggressive counter-argument, he opted for his ultimate weapon - use his authority on me. Still, I could have mollified, appreciated his diligence and won his favor but my pride got better of me and I was adamant. As a result, I was ticketed for a Rs. 500 fine, a compulsion to visit their outlet to reclaim my license and a prospect of red-face among so many others I often belittle silently belittle and deride for breaking the traffic rules.
Finally, I had no option but to relent and move on, with a sky-blue ticket with my name on it, my license in the pocket of the policeman and me left with a train of thoughts and a pulsating chain of emotions.
I know I should not have reacted that way. The officer was also slightly to blame as he could have politely asked me to move on but to expect such politeness from a stressed out police officer on the black-topped, hot tarmac of Kathmandu on a mid-June summer day would be much more to ask. In comparison, it was much easier for me just to accept my fault and move on as the place is not a designated parking area and anyone parking there would be breaking etiquette. It is not important whether I get punished or not but it was simply wrong. It is also not that important whether everyone else gets punished for similar offence because on my way back, I say at least 3 vehicles parked linearly on the same side of the road. As I was passing on, how would I to know whether they got away with it or not. But the fact is that I broke the code, got cautioned, was adamant, did not acknowledge fault and got punished.
If it was a matter of an instantaneous fine of Rs. 500, it would have been easier but for me it is a matter of days of contemplation and regret. May be that is a process of learning for me. I wonder when I would act on all that I learn through these circumstances.
Perhaps, it was for good as well. If it was not for the mishap, I would not have material for this piece.
