थाहा छैन मलाई यस्तो के हुन्छ

एकाएक हराएजस्तो हुन्छु
आफैँदेखि टाढिएजस्तो हुन्छु
एकाएक मन धमिलिएजस्तो हुन्छ
थाहा छैन मलाई यस्तो के हुन्छ

सधै देख्ने अनुहार नौलो जस्तो लाग्छ
हरपलको साथी अपरिचित देखिन्छ
ऐनाभित्रबाट अर्कै व्यक्तिले चिहाउँछ
थाहा छैन मलाई यस्तो के हुन्छ

एउटा गोरेटोमा बढ्दा बढ्दै गन्तव्यतिर
बाटो फाट्छ र अचानक मन मोडिन्छ
बाटो निश्चित गर्न सक्दिन आफ्नो कतैतिर
थाहा छैन मलाई यस्तो के हुन्छ 

कहिले साहित्य, कहिले संगित
कहिले कथा, दर्शन, चित्र वा गीत
सबै कुरा एकैपटक गरौं, भोगौं लाग्छ
थाहा छैन मलाई यस्तो के हुन्छ 

असल हुने भुत सबार भएछ जस्तो छ
सबैको प्रिय हुने निश्फल कोशिश निरन्तर
असम्भव थाहा भएर पनि मन त्यही खोज्छ
थाहा छैन मलाई यस्तो के हुन्छ 

कोही सेतोलाई कालो भन्छन्, मानिदिन्छु
कोहि कुरा काट्छन् अरुको, सुनिदिन्छु
विश्वास धेरै गर्छु सायद, सबै सही लाग्छ

थाहा छैन मलाई यस्तो के हुन्छ 

असल हुन कठिन छ सायद धेरै नै
सहि गलत को भेउ पाउन सहज छैन पक्कै
असल र सही छुट्याउन संघर्षरत छु हरदम
थाहा छैन यस्तो कहिले सम्म हुन्छ ।

तैपनि आशाको डोरी समाएकै छु
वादलको चम्किलो घेरा हेर्दै क्षितीजमाथि
सबैले भन्छन् राम्रै हुन्छ तापनि शंका छ
थाहा छैन मलाई यस्तो के हुन्छ 

मंगलबार ७ आश्विन २०७६ (२४ सेप्टेम्बर २०१९)

Limited by Mind

Sean Stephenson was born with osteogenesis imperfecta, a condition that meant many of his bones were broken when he was born. It was a severe and rare case. Doctors told his parents he could die very soon. 

However, defying all the worst odds against him and disproving all the predictions about his longevity, he lived on, though experiencing constant bouts of excruciating pain alongside confinement to wheelchair. He lived on to be 40 years old before dying of a head injury. He graduated from university, became a therapist and a motivational speaker taking $15000 to $30000 per appearance. 

In his adorable TED talk (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VaRO5-V1uK0), Sean talks about how we are limited in our abilities by our own minds. Our minds are prone to fear, negativity and negative motivation whereas the same mind can be oriented to be positive that helps unleash the full potential. 

Oftentimes I struggle with my own mind. A goal that I set solidly today becomes fickle and irrelevant tomorrow because my mind finds something else more important. That something else can also end up being sidelined the next day. I feel demotivated more often than motivated. I am aware of my strengths but they are frequently overrun by the notion of limitation, fear and anxiety so that I feel belittled, incapable and immobile. I feel confused and consumed by the myriad of thoughts. I regularly suffer from indecision and self-doubt. 

Thursday 19 September 2019 (02 Ashwin 2076)

Self-Justification

We live by certain set principles and self-imposed or learned guidelines. We do not want to move astray from them. In ordinary situation at least. However, whenever a situation arises when we have to move away from the set track, we try to justify our detour through various logical arguments or points. This way of convincing ourselves that our detour, though not justifiable with respect to our own set standards, can be justified as a special case. We try to garner facts, arguments and notions in favor of the detour and make the belief stronger that the detour is for the better. Or we convince ourselves that we shall be better off if we take this exception. This is a well-known and much debated act of self-justification.

When Yudhisthir told a lie for the first time to convince Drona that his son Ashwatthama had perished in the war of Mahabharata, he convinced, though reluctantly and goaded in by Krishna, that he was telling the lie to attain victory for the good cause.

Revolutionaries waging so called fight for the poor justify violence and atrocities against the same populace by arguing that some violence is inevitable in a war to achieve a greater good. Striking employees justify disruptive actions showing their goal of greater good. A driver justifies his breach of road etiquete by putting forward a case of haste or lapse of judgement.
https://www.pcc.edu/staff/pdf/602/Chapter5Self-JustificationPPT.pdf 

Respect - Need to Show it to Earn It

Breaking the stereotype of military commanders, Michele Bachelet, the former president of Chile showed unconventional respect to her subordinates in Military while she was Minister of Defense before being president. Talking to BBC Hardtalk, the current UN Human Rights Commissioner said she broke the convention of strict command chain of the military to show respect to her subordinates there. Many of her critics at the time opined that her way was not military-like and she would not be able to sway command through show of respect. However, she was not only successful to maintain command, she was also widely respected. The first female minister of defense and the first female president of the country could not afford to fail just because of her way of showing respect and value to everyone. Her failure would be pegged to her gender and people would say that she, being a woman, was not suitable for the tough jobs. The failure of any other male leader would be considered his personal failure but Michele's failure would be the failure of women as whole. 

But succeed she did. She ran the defense ministry and then went on to be the head of the country for two terms. A towering achievement of any human being, even more so for  a woman. 

What Mrs. Bachelet has shown is that respect has to be earned rather than imposed. A respect that is imposed because of power or position is short term. That respect does not endure beyond the position of power and influence. That is only for the position and not for the person holding it. But what one need to aspire and work for is for the respect as a person. For that the person first needs to show respect to others. A person showing respect deserves being respected in return. Like love, respect is also a bidirectional process. You need to be respectful to be respectable. 

Scriptures show that people with good virtues by nature show humility, like the bowing down of a branch laden with fruit. An empty and arrogant person does not show respect, like the upright steadfastness of an empty branch. So resonating with the experience and opinion of Michele Bachelet. She is just a figurative representative. The notion of bidirectional respect is universal. Being respectful does not indicate weakness or frailty. On the contrary, it shows a deep rooted confidence and high culture that embodies compassion, shared emotions and respect for all fellow human beings and wider nature. A person who can show such level of equanimity is valued, cherished and respected by all around her or him. Such a person is a gem for the society. Such a person spreads an aura of love and respect that endures beyond the position and profession. 

So, it is good to be respected but it is even better to be respect out of true respect rather than out of fear, retribution or discipline. 

Wednesday, 04 September 2019

Power of Creativity

Creativity is a defining trait of human beings. Among humans also, some have special creativity that stands out. Once their creativity blossoms, the whole of humanity benefits. A few lines of great poetry keeps spreading joy across millennia. A few paragraphs of prose keeps inspiring generations after generations. A finely crafted story passes its good message through social and geographical boundaries. A piece of music or a painting or a sculpture can say a million words at the same time.

It is not only in creative arts that shows the sheer power of the human ingenuity. Scientists, inventors, mathematicians, theorists all use their brain's special ability to churn out new ideas, theories and practical products that change lives. From game theory to gunpowder, from mona lisa to machine learning, from calculus to computer, from penicilin to petrolium, human imagination, perseverance and productivity created many things that changes lives for the better (and sometimes for the worse).

The goosebumps that arise while listening to a good song, the thrill experienced while seeing a beautiful painting, the heartbeat while reading a great poetry or prose, the control given by the gadgets and appliances all remind of the day those items were conceived or, designed, created, tested or published. While most of those things gradually are taken for granted, it is difficult to imagine life without them. It is like air, So far it is there, its presence is not felt. What would be harshly felt is its absence. The creations and the ensuring products become so pervasive that the creators are often forgotten.

Perhaps even the creators did not create those items just for getting credit. They just did that they found joy in. Some in writing, some in composing, others in inventing, theorizing or designing. That is how creators are disposed, They revel in being creative and lose themselves into the act of churning one creation after the other. Some even shun fame and appreciation. They even reject awards, publicity and accolade. While some lament lack of appreciation, there are also those who are repelled by fame and name. The want to renege and be a recluse while embarking alone on their journey of productivity.

For those normal people like me, it is so mysterious and enigmatic that another human being that is made of same material as myself can be so much more prolific and larger than life. That feeling almost amounts to envy. However, that envy changes into respect and humility whenever I find bliss and joy while enjoying their creation with my heart. I never stop wondering at their creativity and appreciating their impact on my life as a conscious human being. May be I am destined to be their awestruck admirer.

Tuesday 03 September 2019 

Envy - The Definition

Envy

Why do I feel a pang when someone steps up the ladder of life, ahead of me? Why do I feel it even when the person in question is a distant acquaintance or even a complete stranger? Why do I feel belittled by success of an American entrepreneur, Indian software developer or Chinese trader? Why do I curse myself for incompetence when a person my age becomes a head of state or government in some corner of the globe? Why am I worried when my colleague gets a promotion or a friend's wife gets a new job? Why do I doubt my ability as a parent when a child of a friend goes to a good school, gets a scholarship or achieve enviable grades? Why do I envy my own brother earning more money than me and think I should always be the one who achieves more?

These are seemingly trivial but in fact very profound questions of life. While detailed answers would be different from case to case, the most common single word answer to all these is the name of a natural human tendency - ENVY.

Envy is widely dealt with by ancient scriptures, philosophers, thinkers, literary figures and scientists. It is talked upon by ancient Hindu scriptures, christian theologies and Muslim holy books. One of the earliest western philosophers Aristotle defines envy as, "the pain at the sight of other person's good fortune". In a way, it signifies the feeling prompted by those "who have what I ought to have", from the perspective of the person who feels envious.

Bhagvad Gita, one of the beacons of Hindu scripture, says "



https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/hide-and-seek/201408/the-psychology-and-philosophy-envy