Depression

Depression is a sad occurrence. It afflicts a person in a painful way. The person not only loses the good health but also the self-esteem and confidence. A depressed person is not able to control own actions and thought processes. 

I have seen a few near and dear ones go through short but debilitating bouts of depression. Those bouts are perhaps the most difficult and dangerous phases of their lives. Dangerous because those phases caused extreme decimation of self-esteem and confidence. Persistent thoughts of danger and a disposition towards self-harm or self-neglect caused extreme anxiety among the friends and families. 

Weird way of looking at you, frequent hallucinations of people following or posing threat, imaginary stalkers or abusers, aversion of loved ones, suspicion and extreme anxiety beset  the patient. I have seen people suspecting infidelity of their spouses and other loved ones. The unprecedented and unexpected nature of behavior is a defining factor of this mental condition.

Fortunately, bouts of severe depression are short and usually easily treatable. A diagnosis of a close observation and a well-supervised mediation of a few weeks (usually a minimum of two weeks) can lead to full recovery. 

According to the article by American Psychiatric Association indicates a fact that this mental condition affects roughly 6% of adult every year and at least 16% of the population go through serious depression at least once in their lives. That shows it is not such an uncommon or taboo condition. However, since it is related to mental condition and a person's loss of usual personality for the worse, depression is generally taken as a taboo and a dangerous mental condition. Though it can be dangerous if left undiagnosed and untreated, it is easily treatable in most cases.

Depression is not something to be ashamed of or taken as taboo. It is a medical condition and even the most well-positioned, prosperous and happy person with full life can experience it. Hence, it is better to know the symptoms and start treatment on time. 

The major symptoms as listed in the American Psychiatric Associate article are:

• Feeling of sadness 
• Bad and depressed mood
• Trouble sleeping or too much sleep
• Loss of appetite or excessive appetite
• Loss of energy and rise in fatigue
• Feeling of worthlessness, guilty and low self-esteem
• Suicidal thoughts
• Increase in worthless or thoughtless physical activity such as walking, writing etc. 

Similarly, the modes of treatment include medication, psychotherapy and others. 

Depression is a common illness and is rising due to changing social norms, exposure, ambition, environment and peer pressure. It needs thorough understanding, empathy for the patient, careful diagnosis and well-observed mediation for timely and complete treatment. As it can attack anyone irrespective of social standing, success or wealth, it is better to be aware than be taken by surprise. 

Sunday 31 March 2019 (09:40 PM)

Handling Difficult People

Handling people is a necessity of professional life. It is more so when the profession involves regular interactions with customers, media people and general public. Those working in the front-desks, customer care centers, call centers and other public interest areas have to deal with many people. The people are not always with positive outlook or altruistic dispositions. 

Many people that have to be dealt are angry, frustrated or disappointed with the product, service, price or behavior. Of those people, many have a tendency to suppress their disappointment and let go. However, there are also those people who tend to pursue the cause of their dissatisfaction to the core and draw the people involved into the fray. When such people get diverted, rejected or improperly tackled at the immediate stage their frustration level drastically increases and they are more disposed to vent their ire at the person that comes across to interact with them. 

According to a 2012 article in Fox News website, there are ten ways to handle a difficult customer. This might be one of many perspectives of the issue but still the ideas such as listening, lowering the voice, not getting angry and upset, building a rapport with the person, not being upset, not taking it personally and being true to one's word about working on the issue or calling back are very useful, obvious and universal when it comes to dealing with difficult people and situations. In such cases, the experience and emotional disposition of the person who does the dealing is very important. 

When tackled with patience, humility, respect and empathy, even the harshest of people can be soothed down and made satisfied. That has to be backed up by the sincere and real effort to handle the problem reported and following up on that. This is where many service providers, especially those with public legacy, slip up and end up antagonizing their customers. In a competitive business environment, this slip up can cost the organization dear in terms of customer base, revenue, credibility and overall organizational image. Once the organizational image gets tainted, the image of the employees and stakeholders also get tarnished. 

So, better to start dealing with difficult people with respect and empathy so that good vibes spread and overall image improve. 

Friday 29 March 2019

स्वार्थ

मानिस स्वार्थी प्राणी हो ।

यो भनाई अक्सर सुनिन्छ । यो एउटा भनाई मात्र नभएर जीवन दर्शनको एउटा तीक्ष्ण यथार्थ पनि हो । स्व‌‌ र अर्थ मिलेर बनेको यस शब्दले आफ्नो फाइदा भन्ने जनाउँछ । झट्ट हेर्दा आफ्नो भौतिक फाइदा जस्तो देखिए पनि वृहत् रूपमा हेर्ने हो भने स्वार्थ भन्नाले कुनैपनि व्यक्तिले आत्मकेन्द्रित भएर चाहेको कुनैपनि उपलब्धीलाई मान्न सकिन्छ ।

अरू कसैको मतलव नराखी, नृशंस र निर्विवेकी रूपमा आफ्नो मात्र सुविधा हेर्नेलाई कोरा एवम् स्वाभाविक रूपमा स्वार्थी भन्ने गरिन्छ । हुन पनि यो स्वार्थीपनाको उच्चतम रूप नै हो । अरुलाई हानी नोक्सानी पुर्‍याएर भएपनि आफ्नो हितसाधन गर्नु स्वार्थी स्वभावको पर्याय नै हो भन्न सकिन्छ ।

सहज रूपमा स्वार्थको यस्तो छोटो परिभाषा र द्योतक भएपनि अलि गहिरिएर सोच्ने हो भने स्वार्थ धेरै व्यापक मानवीय स्वभावको रूपमा रहेको पाउन सकिन्छ । संधै नि:स्वार्थ भावले काम गर्छु भनेर हिड्ने व्यक्तिको पनि यदि सो स्थिति कायम गर्न सफल भएको भए त्यसलाई निरन्तरता दिन धेरै मेहनत गर्नुपर्ने हुन्छ । आफूले आफ्नो लागि तय गरिएको मापदण्डमा आफूलाई कायम राख्नको लागि व्यक्तिले धेरै ठाउँ वा समयमा विविध निर्णय गर्नुपर्ने हुन्छ जुन स्वाभाविक गतिविधि भन्दा पृथक पनि हुन सक्छ । यस अर्थमा आफ्नो मापदण्ड वा मान्यतामा अडिग हुन लागिपर्ने व्यक्तिलाई पनि स्वार्थी भन्नु पर्ने हुन्छ होला । 

त्यसैगरि जीवनभर धर्म कर्म वा सेवाको काम गर्छु भन्नेको वा निर्वाणको लागि काम गर्छु भन्नेले पनि आफ्नो अभिलाषा पूरा गर्न प्रयास गर्नै पर्छ । परिभाषागत रूपमा आफ्नो निर्धारित लक्षको लागि काम गर्दा लक्ष राम्रै भएपनि मानिसले आत्मकेन्द्रित हुनै पर्ने हुन्छ जुन स्वार्थको पर्याय जस्तै हो । तर यस्तो किसिमको स्वार्थलाई वास्तविक स्वार्थको रूपमा हेरिंदैन किनकी यस्तो स्वार्थमा परपिडा नीहित हुंदैन । यदि यसरी परिभाषालाई सङ्कुचित नगर्ने हो भने त सारा संसारै स्वार्थी भएको ठहर गर्न सकिन्छ । लाग्छ यसैलाई कवी, गीतकार र कलाकारले 'स्वार्थी संसार' भन्ने गरेको । 

विहिबार १४ चैत्र २०७५

म र तिमी

म र तिमी

तिमि को?

तिमी सोध्दछौ ।

म को?

हेर्दा तिमी जस्तै भएपनि,

तिमीले जस्तै लाए खाए पनि,

१० देखि ५ तिमी संगै बिताए पनि,

म तिमी होइन, तिमी म होइन

म तिमी जस्तो होइन, म जस्तो कोही छैन ।

एउटै कागजमा संगै लेखिएका तिम्रा र मेरा कुरा

तिम्रा कुरा छेउ न टुप्पाका, नराम्रा, नमीठा, बेढङ्गका

मेरा प्रासंगिक, उचित, गहकिला, अकाट्य

भूत, वर्तमान, भविष्य सवै समेटने 

वेद वाक्य जस्ता मेरा कुरा  

सुकेको थोत्रो टपरीमा असिना पर्दाको आवाज जस्ता 

निरस निरर्थक तिम्रा कुरा

तिम्रो र मेरो एउटै नाउ

पानी शान्त थियो, सयर गर्‍यौं हामीले संगै

नाउ खियाउँनै बिर्सिएर घाम ताप्यौं मजाले, गफ धेरै भए

लाग्थ्यो हामीले घाम तापेको र 

गहन गफ गरेकै कारणले नाउ चलेको छ

पानी न हो, अचानक अशान्त भयो, नाउ न हो, डगमगायो

तिमीले किन घाम ताप्यौ, नाउतिर ध्यान नदिई?

तिम्रो घाम तपाईको कारणले डुबियो

घातक तिम्रो नौका चलाई, प्रत्युत्पादक तिम्रो घाम तपाई

कहाँ तिमी कहाँ म, काम तिम्रो घाम मेरो

तिम्रा र मेरा उही एउटै थकाली

दर्शन दिनहुँ तिमी पनि गर्छौ, म पनि

तिम्रो दर्शन बनावटी, मेरो अकबरी सुन जस्तै

भन्छन् हामीलाई मिलेर काम गर

म भन्छु काम तिमी गर, मिलुँला म

काम बन्छ, म जाउँला जाहेरी गर्न, स्याबासी बाँडौंला

बिग्रियो त तिम्रा कारणले, गर्ने त तिमी हौ

म त मिलेको मात्र पो, थकालीलाई भनौला

ढुक्क बस, यसैगरी युगान्तर सम्म मिलौंला

मसँग तिमी, तिमीसँग म  

तिम्रो र मेरो बही खाता साझा

नाफा, नोक्सान, आम्दानी, खर्च, सम्पत्ति, दायित्व

तर कुरा बुझी राख, यो खाताको नियम छ विशेष

क्रेडिट सबै म लिउँला, डेबिट तिमी राख

सजिलो हिसाब, स्पष्ट कारोबार

तिम्रा पनि कुरा, कुरा मेरा पनि

मेरा सारभुत र गहन, तिम्रा तातो हावा भरेको बेलुन जस्ता

मेरा कुरा फेरिए, युगको माग, 

सिनेमामा कथाले मागेको ग्ल्यामर जस्तो

फरक परे तिम्रा, तिमी पिपल पाते, 

तिम्रो बोली नबुझिने भाषाको प्रवचन जस्तो

तिमी कम बोल, तिमीले काम गरेकै सुहाउँछ

बोल्ने काम मेरो, नत्र कामको आइडिया कहाँबाट आउँछ ?

हेर्दा हामी उस्तै भएपनि, छालमा एउटै डुँङ्गामा यात्रा गरे पनि

विस्तारै अर्वेलको सूँगुरको खोरमा जस्तै

तिमी काम गर्ने र म जस पाउने बीच विस्तारै विस्तारै फरक आउला

तिमी र म बराबर भएपनि म तिमी भन्दा बढी बराबर हुँदै जाउँला

हुन सक्छ कुनै दिन हामी दुईको खोर नै फरक होला

पक्कै तिम्रो भन्दा मेरो सुकिलो हुनै पर्छ

किनकी तिमीलाई यही खोर प्यारो छ, 

मेहनती छौ, खाली बस्दा ज्वरो आउँछ 

म यहि बसे आइडियाको मुहान सुक्ला, अनि केमा नङ्ग्रा खियाउँछौ?

म नया खोरमा जानु अपरिहार्य छैन र?

तिमीले बोक्ने नया भारी र जोत्ने थप बाँझो खोज्न पनि !

कहाँको नाच्ने, कहाँको नचाउने ! 

कहाँ तिमी, कता म !

फाटेको टोपीले पसिना पुछ्ने मोही किसान जस्तो

तिमि पसिना बगाउदै जाऊ, जोत्दै जाऊ, खाली दिमाग लिएर

म चतुर तल्सिङ् जस्तै बाली उठाइरहुँला

खेत बांझो भए, तिमी अल्छी, मेरो भाग डुबाउने पनि तिमी

बालि लहलह, साइतमा म भाग दाबी गर्न आउँला, तयारी गर तिमी

तिम्रो निधारमा पसिना र हातमा ज्यावल नै सुहाउँछ

चस्मा, टोपी, घडी, औठी त मेरा लागि हुन्

निधार, निधार; हात, हात

कहाँ तिम्रा, कहाँ मेरा !

मेरो शैलीको डेबिट क्रेडिट, हिसाब हुनुपर्छ मेरै जस्तो

खातै बन्द भएपनि तिमीतिर औंला देखाई भनुँला

म त मिलेकै थिएँ नि, उसले नगरेर पो त

मैले त भनेकै थिएँ नि, उसले नसुनेर पो त 

बुझ्यौ नि कुरा?

कहाँ तिमी, कहाँ म !

Enlightenment?

Enlightenment is an enigmatic topic. It supposedly happen to 'special' people who experience that coveted 'illumination' of new idea, realization or spiritual elevation. In a deep spiritual sense, it refers to a rare event when a special person sees 'beyond' the ordinary to realize the larger perspective of life, including its causes, effects, precursors and consequences. 

Enlightened people are supposed to be above the travails of the world. They are above the materialistic levels and transcend lives. They are in such elevated state that they see god or they are beyond the shackles of birth, death and banal travesties of life. They have seen beyond the 'normal horizon' that is the limit of normal people. 

But can that be experienced? May be yes. May be in a person's own little way. Every realization has its own dimension. A sophisticated and extraordinary personality might experience a grand realization. A worldly, ordinary and down-to-earth person may go through a much smaller realization. But that would be the difference of degrees only, not the occurrence of the event. 

I almost had a similar experience sometime during 2017. I was pondering over so many things and naturally, my thoughts wandered to my village, my parents, the surroundings, the people in the surroundings and their lives. I was pondering if all that world that I saw and perceived was only for me. What would happen if I cease to exist? Will all that still matter for me? Or will all that matter at all? Then, out of nowhere, I experienced as if I saw the locality and its activities without myself, beyond myself, almost sans my existence. I had a vivid picture in mind that the same place continued to be, same people continued to exist and same event continued to repeat themselves without any need of me. 

Suddenly I realized that the world would go on as well without me as it was going on with me. I was just a small side story beside a much larger main story that never ended. Only actors, like me, changed. I suddenly realized that there was something beyond this life. The visualization and the feeling is still very clear in my mind and it repeatedly creates goosebumps and sends shivers of excitement down my spine.  

It was a petty experience of a worldly person like me who has so many desires, dreams, material wishes and ordinary worldly aspiration. Probably because of the mundane life that I have, my enlightenment was also almost mundane. Still, that forces me to appreciate the grandeur of feeling when a person with a life devoted to spiritualism, philosophy and grand ideas attains enlightenment. The message, the realization, the visualization and the overall feeling must be on a much larger scale, to have similar profound effect on a being already on a much higher pedestal that a commonplace person like me. 

No wonder these realizations might have led to the emanation of grand philosophies, ideas and teachings that continue to inspire, enliven and enrich lives of countless millions over the ages. 

Saturday 16 March 2019 (10:28 PM) 

आख्यान र आख्यानकार

पहिलो पददेखि पूर्ण विराम सम्म ।
अनिश्चित लम्बाइको यो वाक्यांश ।।

कैयौं ह्रस्व खुशी र दीर्घ दुखाई संग ।
मात्रा, वाइमात्राका अनन्त हिसावसंग ।।

चलिरहेछ कहिले सम्म, सरस, सलिल ।
कहिले भूमरी, छाल र उथलपुथल ।।

देख्ने, भोग्ने, गर्ने, सिक्ने अविरल यात्रामा ।
पद र पाईलाहरू चलिरहेछन् विस्तारै ।।

आफ्नै वेग, संवेग, उद्वेग र आवेगका साथ  ।
लामो कथाको सानो अंशको एक हरफ ।।

कहिले प्रश्न, कहिले विश्मयको बोध ।
कतै वि्न्दु त कतै चन्द्रविन्दुको गहना  ।।

अनेकन अर्धविराम र अल्पविरामसंगै  ।
लामो आख्यानवीचको एउटा वाक्यरूप ।।

चल्दैछ एक हरफ जीवन, सेतो कगजमा ।
बढिरहेछ विरामतर्फ जो देखिदैन तर अमिट छ  ।।

अनन्त, अविरल आख्यानको यो एउटा हरफ ।
थाहा छैन कहिले आउछ त्यो पूर्णविराम  ।।

पहिले लेखिएका अनगिन्ति वाक्यहरू जस्तै ।
यसको पनि अवश्य आउनेछ त्यो निश्चित विराम ।।

न पहिलेको वाक्य पढ्न सकियो, न पछिको ।
अहिलेको मात्र अलिअलि गरी, समय संगै ।।

छोपिएको हरफ, विस्तारै, आफ्नै गतिमा ।
देखाउने त्यो को हो नेपथ्यको आख्यानकार ??

सुनियो, देखियो अनेकन किंवदन्ति र कथामा ।
मान्छे पिच्छेका आकृति र अनुभूतिमा ।।

तर कसले भन्न सक्छ कस्तो छ त्यो लेखक ?
कसरी लेख्छ उसले हरेकको अनन्त कथा ?

परमाणुदेखि महाविस्फोटका हिसावका वीच ।
त्यो अज्ञेय आख्यानकारले अझै विस्मित बनाउछ ।।

आफ्नो एउटा हरफ त देखिंदैन प्रष्ट र पूर्ण ।
कहांँको पूरा आख्यान, कताको आख्यानकार ।।

शुक्रबार १ चैत्र २०७५ (१५ मार्च २०१९)