Scholarship Above Division and Differences

 This narrative of mine is not about praising one religion or culture or tradition above others. It is not about me being from a specific religious or cultural group. It is not about me preferring one of them above the other. This is about an inspiration I got. It is about a speech by a person that gave me a clear indication that wisdom, scholarship and personal charisma are above the divide created by color, creed, culture, religion, tradition and social norms. 

This is about a speech I watched on YouTube by Mr. Arif Mohammad Khan, the Governor of the state of Kerala in India. Being a learned Muslim, he is talking about the Bhagvad Gita, Hindu Traditions, Sanatan Dharma and the ancient wisdom of sages, Vedas and other scriptures. 

I was specifically struck by his level of insight into the ancient Indian wisdom, its cultural heritage, the tradition of empathy, righteousness, faith and selflessness. In modern age of interracial, interreligious, interstate bigotry, mistrust and cutthroat attitude, his speech almost shocked by its level of prudence and logic. Not because I am happy that my Hindu faith got support of a prominent Muslim. Not because he talked about what I consider important. But because he was inquisitive enough to delve so deep into the tradition of a different faith and because he was not prejudiced by the increasing level of animosity between the two faiths. I was also struck by his courage in coming to a gathering of Hindu scholars and delivering his amazing discourse, to the awe of the audience. That the audience was mesmerized was evident from the constant applauses he got and the look on the faces of the audience, whenever the camera got time to pan to them. 

Discourses like this, on any side out there and on any topic that can be of common interest, can help bring people together. They can help people step into others' shoes and perceive the world from others' perspective. That, after all, can lead of greater tolerance and acceptance. What else can be more needed and relevant for the contemporary world?

Friday 16 September 2022

आँखाहरू

 संसार देख्ने आंखाहरु

संसारले देख्ने आंखाहरु

पानीले सजल आंखाहरु

शुष्क र शिथिल आंखाहरु ।

सपना देख्ने र देखाउने 

आफ्ना चिन्ने र चिनाउने 

सुख र दुखका क्षणमा 

नीरले डबडबाउने आंखाहरु ।

टेढिएको भौं मुन्तिर 

विस्फारित परेलिभित्र 

आक्रामक चम्काइसंगै 

क्रोधले रंगिएका आंखाहरु ।

सप्रेम र सरस अनुहारमा 

द्रवित ओठको कम्पनमा 

अतिशय करुणाभावसंगै 

लोलाउने प्रेमी आंखाहरु ।

प्रश्नै प्रश्नको अविरल वर्षा

हृदय छेडुंलाझै तीखो हेराइ

कमजोरीमा प्रहारनिम्ति  

सज्जित शिकारी आंखाहरु ।

धुलोमा लुलो काया थाम्दै 

किञ्चित कंपित हात थाप्दै 

अलिकति दयाको आशमा 

भयभीत भिखारी आंखाहरु ।

यता उता लक्ष्यहीन भौतारिंदै

टार्न भाग्न भगाउन खोज्दै 

आंखामा आखा नमिलाउने

ढीठ कर्मचारी आंखाहरु  ।

दम्भ, रवाफ र क्रोधसाथ 

होच्याउँदै हप्काउँदै थिच्दै 

मै खाउँ मै लाउँको जप गर्दै 

अन्त्य विर्सिने शासक आंखाहरु ।

धमिलिएको क्षितीजतिर 

हत्केलाको छायाले छेकेर 

हरदम सन्ततिको बाटो हेर्ने 

एक्लिएका बुढ्यौली आंखाहरू ।

चर्मचक्षुभन्दा धेरै भित्र 

हृदयको गहिराइमा स्थित 

अनेकन भोगाइले भरिएका 

सदैव खुल्ने अभौतिक आंखाहरू ।

मनको कुरा मौन बोलिदिने 

अव्यक्त भावहरू व्यक्त गर्ने 

व्यक्तित्व देखाउन दर्पणरुप 

वुझेर बुझ्न नसकिने आंखाहरु ।   

 

सोमबार २० भाद्र २०७९ (५ सेप्टेम्बर २०२२)

  

Quagmire

Once you are there, it is difficult to come out. Quagmires are evil. They seem benign, until you get caught inside one. They are not visible to the unsuspecting eye. But there they are, waiting to gobble up anything that comes their way. Once there, there's no getting out.

Quagmires are a natural physical phenomena but figuratively, they can represent many other aspects of life. Debt, sorrow, wars, crises, social tensions, toxic relationships and so on. It's not just about persons. Whole systems, communities or societies and even countries can be be caught in quagmires of varied kind.

Endemic corruption is one such quagmire that can engulf an entire country. These days, a new story is making rounds here. It's about the statement from a leading bureaucrat about endemic financial malpractice inside his own organization. Ironically, that organization is supposed to be the vanguard of making sure financial activities, especially at the public organizations' level, are free of malpractices and corruption. He, either with intent or inadvertently, accepted that his entity was having endemic malpractice and something tantamount to policy corruption across its hierarchy.

Being a public sector employee, it might seem hypocritical for me to be writing this. But I have my own struggles with this issue. The way people talk to us public workers, the way they (especially those involved in trade, business or other transactions with the entity we work in) approach us in business related dealings are so embarrassing and spiteful. It is as if being in this sector is an automatic qualification for you to be deemed corrupt or with a natural disposition to do shady deals for personal benefit. If you are otherwise, there is a constant struggle to prove otherwise. Having to respond to those scathing but indirect references, about past deals with other persons or groups in your entity, similar deals in the past, lure of so called 'personal welfare', references to the cost of living and your income not being high enough for your 'standard' and so on. It continues and you just have to digest that with a red face, banging heart and boiling frustration mixed with anger.

There is a popular adage attributed to a former ruler that both the taker and giver of bribes are enemies of state but the general perception is that only the takers (esp. those in public responsibilities) are to blame and the other party of the transaction just 'had no alternative but to pay'. This might be true in some cases but in many others, perhaps the giver also tries to get a shortcut and easier way out with a little expense. Anyways, there are probably 'other ways' for the giver to recuperate that 'investment', now that the giver is aware of the Achile's heel as far as the 'taker' is concerned. Giver knows how to get things done and how to turn the table on the taker if needed.

Of course a public responsibility is a serious one and demands more care. Of course a position of public service is supposed to be more transparent and better regulated. But what if the very entity supposed to enforce such standards finds itself caught in the same quagmire it is supposed to prevent others from falling into? That means further sense of helplessness and adds fuel to the fire of disillusion towards the whole system. No wonder so many people think that nothing good happens here and tend to look elsewhere for a more fulfilling, progressive and prosperous life. Not that running away is the only solution but these increasingly regular cases of malpractice at the institutional level, lack of positive inspiration, prevalence negative role models and a sense of good-for-nothing-ness regarding your state, your society and your surroundings forces you to chose lesser of the two evils. In many cases, going away is considered the lesser one.

Given one's limited abilities, scope of responsibility and constrained authority, often there is very little one can do. However, adhering to one's own positive standards despite the frequent direct and indirect pinches and piercings is probably the best one can do. If this adherence can be sustained over the professional tenure without any significant dent, probably that is the greatest accomplishment of a public worker. That is, if the worker has a personal disposition towards maintaining those standards and not running after earning by hook or crook. After all, a lot depends upon the standards one sets for oneself and the strength of one's character to stick to those standards, no matter what. Not falling back is so much more difficult than attaining a height. 

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/quagmire-krishna-bhandari

ती दिन

उमेरले कोल्टे फेर्दै जाँदा 

जिन्दगिले पल्टा खाँदै गर्दा 

पटक पटक मानसपटलमा 

आउँछन उहिलेका ती दिन । 

बाँसका टटेलाको फिरफिरे 

चिलाउनेको पातको सिट्टि

छाताको तारले ठेलेर गुडाउने 

नाङ्गलोको बिटको पाङ्ग्रो । 

खेतको आली, गोरेटो र पाखोमा 

पांग्रोको पछिपछि मारेको वुर्कुसी 

पटक पटक छिनेको चप्पलको फित्ता 

त्यसलाई काम चलाउन बाघेको झुम्रो ।  

भुटेको मकैसंग मुलाको डुकु 

नुन छरेको हाडे काफल

लेकमा काँडा पञ्छाउँदै टिपेको 

भरिलो र रसिलो ऐंसेलुको गाँस । 

घाँसे पाखो ओरालोमा घुइंकिन

बाँसको कप्टेराको चिप्लेटी 

फलस्वरुप प्वालै प्वाल परेको कट्टु

र घाउ नै घाउ भएका हात गोडा । 

मोजामा झुम्रा कोचेको सानो भकुण्डो 

फुटेका माटाका भाडाको टुक्राको चाङ्ग

ढाल्ने र बनाउने खेलमा जमातै उफ्रिंदा 

बिग्रिएको बारीको पाटो र ठूलाको गाली ।

पाठशाला आउँदा जाँदाको लामो बाटो

बाटोभरि गुच्चा र सिक्काको खेल 

चकलेटका खोल र चुरोटका बट्टाको 

कित्ताको बाजी र उदेकलाग्दो हारजीत । 

खोपी, हक्र्याङ्ग, ओखर अनि के के 

नाना भाँतिका खेल र तिनका औजार 

अरू केही नभए गुच्चाको खेलमा 

हार्नेको गोलिगाँठो रन्काउने बाजी । 

सकी-नसकी रुख र ढुङ्गाको चढाई 

अचानक तिनबाट जमिनमा गुल्टाई

मर्केका, भाच्चिएका हात गोडा

च्यातिएको लुगा, सातो गएको मुटु । 

बाटोको दाँयाबाया लहलहाउँदो बाली 

दुधिलो गहु, कुटुलीकोसा, कलिलो मास

अमला, मयल, काफल, चुत्रो, मणिलो 

खाँदै, खुवाउँदै, चाख्दै, मिल्काउँदै । 

बुढा बाबुचाको सांघुरो एक झ्याले पसल 

सानो कोठामा स-साना पोका र बट्टाका सामान

दाँत सबै गएर खोपिल्टा परेको मुखले 

मुसुक्क हास्दै दिएको पाँच पैसाको पुष्टकारी ।

स्कूलका 'दादा' हरुको सान र आतंक 

तिनिहरुसंगको छुट्टै डर र संकोच 

आफ्नो टोपीको भकुण्डो बनाएको 

नीरिह भएर हेर्नुपर्ने सामर्थ्यहीनता ।

अंग्रेजीको पनि नेपालीमा पढाई

विज्ञानको सरको हासोलाग्ने बोली 

भ्यागुत्तालाई भयाकुत्ता भन्दाको रमाइलो

हरेकजसो शिक्षक‍लाई दिइएको उपनाम । 

केटाकेटीदेखिको भकभकाउने बानी

त्यसैले आफ्नो नाम भन्नुपर्दाको सकस

कैयौंपटक नाम भन्न नसक्दा वा रोकिनुपर्दा 

साथीहरुबाट 'सप्रेम' प्राप्त 'लाटो' को पदवी । 

प्वाल परेको घैंटोको पानीझैं घट्दो जीवन 

धमिलिंदै गरेका आंखा, मैलिदै गरेका दाँत

झोल्लिदै गरेका मांसपेशि, फुल्दै गएको केश 

तथापि कहिल्यै गलित नहुँने आशा, आकांक्षा । 

आफ्नो वरिपरि नाचिरहेका रोग, शोक र मृत्यु 

तिनको वीचमा पनि निशाको दीपझैं जिजीविषा 

वाँच्ने धुनमा वर्तमानको गञ्जागोल जञ्जालमा पनि 

मनमश्तिष्कमा झलझलाउँदा विगतका ती दिन । 

 --x--

My Chronic Procrastination

Every culture promotes timely action, punctuality, promptness and diligence. No society likes postponing things that need to be done promptly. Procrastination, or the act of postponing actions without any credible reason, is an indication of lack of seriousness and focus. 

Personally, I don't like procrastination. Specifically not in case of those from whom I expect action - my kids, colleagues - superiors and subordinates alike, friends and almost anyone else from whom I expect some action. I am naturally happy if I get what I want without delay. This is perhaps not so uncommon to be like that. I have seen others like that. Almost all of them. Then what kept me from devoting 10-20 minutes to write a few hundred words as a post to this blog for the last 10 months? My previous post was in June 2021 and I am keyboarding these words in late April 2022. 

There is a old saying in my society that nobody knows better than a lazy one. Here, 'knowing' means coming up with various logics and ideas to justify one's laziness. Various pretenses, blaming others, pointing at 'circumstances' that 'hindered' the expected action, even politics, environment and economy. I could not do this because that happened or weather changed for the worse or had a headache or had a bad day and so on and on and on. 

I started this blog not to garner a wide audience base (though I would not complain if I get more readership that the meager that I have had so far), to make money out of it or to shine as a writer. I just needed some place to record my feelings and perhaps bring out a 'gem' from inside me that would be publish-worthy some time in future. I do not see myself as a good writer either. Naturally, I find it easy to find fault in others' writing but pardon me if you find a silly mistake in these lines. That's very much like me. I tend to check my sentences and grammar but still I more often than not end up making my sentences too long (like this very one!) and hard to understand, my logic boring and my writing off-the-mark. Still, thank god I at least try. And thank god technology has enabled providers like Google to provide such platforms as blogger.com for free. Since I find it too hard to jot my thoughts every nigh on a hefty diary notebook, online is the tool for me. 

But not all is in vain. Sometimes, when I go back to these posts after a long time and evaluate my own writing, I can't stop patting myself on the back for an 'astounding' piece of writing. Even lazy people have ways to motivate themselves. 

But would it not have been better if I kept posting at least one piece every week over the past ten months? Not such a steep mountain to climb. An come today, I would have had 40-odd more pieces and if even one of them could satisfy me later on as a good piece of writing, that would have been worth million times more than countless screen minutes I spent scouring articles on flipboard, seeing online news or watching YouTube videos. 

Having chastised myself, I have to accept it is not easy to sustain momentum for a long time. Especially when one sees other people belching out bestselling books and widely read articles, in the context of your own little 'useless' pieces of musings in one unknown corner of cyberspace. Believe me, it is indeed hard to sustain that energy and momentum. But, behind every bestseller, there must be a long story of struggle and countless pages ending up inside a dustbin. But as the wider society prefers doing, I also tend to see the result rather than the process behind that result. I do not see the million books that are rejected or thousands that are published but end up in oblivion. I only see those on the bestseller's list. Who am I to complain and who am I to compare my musings with those at the top of the iceberg? Who am I to ignore, though I am fully aware of it, that there is a much bigger unseen part of every iceberg?

Answer: I am nobody but a simple, lazy person searching in vain for a good pretense for my chronic tendency to procrastinate. Don't believe if I one day come out as a writer of any credibility. I do not have any qualities of that success. My morning shows a different and much bleaker kind of a day. 

पुस्तक समीक्षा - राधा (कृष्ण धरावासी)

कृष्ण धराबासीको मैले पढेको पहिलो किताव। एकजना सहकर्मी बहिनीले सिफारिस गरेर पढेको थिएँ । हुन त यो पुस्तकको चर्चा धेरै सुनेको भएपनि पढ्ने मौका मिलेको थिएन । 

पौराणिक पात्र राधाको परिचय कृष्णकी प्रेमिकाको रूपमा चीरकालदेखि स्थापित छ । बैबाहिक सम्बन्धको औपचारिकतामा नपरेको भएपनि ती दुईको प्रेम आत्मिक र दिव्य रहेको मानिन्छ । आधुनिक कालमा त राधालाई कृष्ण बराबरकै दैवी शक्तिको रूपमा पनि कतिले स्विकार गरेका छन् । कृष्ण प्रणामी लगायतका सम्प्रदायले मूल रूपमा नै राधाको उपासना गरेको पाइन्छ । 

तर कृष्णको जीवनगाथा र चरित्र बर्णन गर्ने श्रीमद्भागवत र महाभारतमा उनका अन्य रानीहरूको जति पनि राधाको बारेमा चित्रण गरिएको पाइदैन । त्यसको वावजुद पनि जब कृष्णको नाम आउँछ, राधाको पनि संगसंगै आउँछ । यस त‍थ्यले पनि राधाको चरित्र र व्यक्तित्वलाई थप रहस्यमय बनाइदिएको छ । 

यही पृष्ठभूमिमा नेपाली भाषाका प्रखर आख्यानकार कृष्ण धराबासीले राधा उपन्यासको रचना गर्नुभएको रहेछ । नाटकीय रुपमा पूर्वी नेपालको पुरातात्विक स्थलमा प्राप्त रहस्यमय भाषाको लेखोट र चिरञ्चजीवि अश्वत्थामालाई उक्त लेखोट पढ्ने रहस्यमय योगीको रूपमा जोडेर धराबासीले राधाको छुट्टै बिन्यास सहितको कथा वर्णित गरेका छन् । 

पौराणिक र साम्प्रदायिक रूपमा असिमित दैवी शक्तियुक्त र संसारका भारहर्ता मानिएका कृष्णलाई विशेष परिस्थितिले घेरिएका सामान्य मानवको रूपमा चित्रित गर्दै लेखकले राधालाई उनकी बालसखी र प्रेमिकाको रूपमा पेस गरेका छन् । बालसखी र मानिएकी प्रेमिका भएपनि कृष्णले राधालाई सांसारिक रूपमा आफ्नी अर्धांगिनी बनाउदैनन् । तैपनि उनि राधा प्रति आफ्नो प्रेम सर्वोच्च रहेको पटक पटक दोहोर्‍याउँछन् । उनको यो भनाई र एकपछि अर्को गरी धेरै पत्नी भित्र्याउने व्यवहारमा मेल खाँदैन । यसले राधाको मनमा कृष्ण प्रति उपेक्षाभाव र आक्रोश पनि उत्पन्न गर्छ । तथापि उनको प्रेम आत्मिक रहेकोले उनी कृष्णबाहेक अन्य कसैलाई अपनाउन पनि सक्दिनन् । 

एउटी इमान्दार प्रेमिका र उनको छली स्वभावको प्रेमीको लामो जीवनयात्राका आरोह अवरोहहरू चित्रित गरिएको यस उपन्यासले राधालाई एक छुट्टै जीवन्तता दिएको छ । एक पुरुष भएपनि लेखकले नारी मनोभावलाई प्रतिनिधित्व गर्न निकै प्रयास गरेका छन् ।  

पुराणहरूबाट पाईने कथावस्तु र उपन्यासको कथावस्तुमा धेरै पृथकता भएपनि पढुञ्जेल यस उपन्यासले पाठकलाई त्यो कालखण्ड र त्यसबेलाको जनजीवनको नजीक लैजान सफल हुन्छ । शायद यही मौलिकता बोकेको र सहज भाषा प्रवाहमा लेखिएकोले यस कृतिले देशको सर्वाधिक प्रतिष्ठित मदन पुरस्कार प्राप्त गर्न सफल भएको हुनुपर्छ । 

अन्त्यमा, आफूलाई स्वाभीमानी, आत्मनिर्भर र गौरवशाली जीवन दिन खोज्ने युवतीहरूले एकपटक पढ्नुपर्छ जस्तो लाग्छ । साथै पुरुषहरूले पनि यस उपन्यासबाट नारीलाई सम्मान गर्नुपर्ने सन्देश पाउँछन् भन्ने मेरो विश्वास छ । 

शुक्रबार ११ आषाढ २०७८ (२५ जून २०२१)

Book Review - Top Five Regrets of The Dying by Bronnie Ware

 This book was referred to me by my talented colleague and a voracious reader Mr. Ajay Kadel. He has a knack of locating spiritually inclined books. 

"The Top Five Regrets of the Dying" by Bronnie Ware is a summarization of her experiences with terminally ill dying people at various palliative care centers, nursing homes and even personal homes of the the dying. While weaving a nice prose regarding the mental disposition and principle regrets of the dying, she also weaves a beautiful story of her own life. Her rebellious spirit, a nomadic life, carefree attitude and a predisposition to not get attached to anyone found solace in the caring for the dying and learning from them. 

Her unique experience of both men and women of various ages (mostly old or middle aged) at the twilight of their lives gave her a unique and highly spiritual perspective of human life. The dreams, aspirations and turmoil of life usually make people forget what really matters in life - living for yourself and others in pursuit of mutual and pervasive happiness. 

According to Bronnie's experiences with the dying, the top five regrets of dying people can be enumerated as follows:

1. People wish they had the courage to live a life true to themselves. People normally end up guiding their own lives through the perspective of others and what others think of them. However, in the end they wish they had been able to live life on their own terms not worrying about others. 

2. They wish they hadn't worked as hard as they did. People often end up working too hard, to pursue their own insatiable ambition and also to make sure other have a great opinion of them. While doing this, they rarely give themselves time to unwind and contemplate their life from a perspective of peace, happiness and spiritual awakening. This is a principle regret for people at the end of their journey. 

3. We generally think twice before expressing our feelings. For fear of losing our pedestal of ego and self-righteousness. Also for fear of what others might think of us. We end of stifling our feelings also for fear of disappointing our loved ones, for the hope of sustaining toxic relationships or for the sake of nurturing our selfish aspiration. However, according to Ware's experiences, the dying people wish they had the courage to express their true feelings irrespective of the consequences and circumstances. 

4. Friendship is one of the most uplifting relationships a human can cultivate. True friends are both for happy and sad times. They are there to share our success and failures. They are there to motivate and uplift us in our dark times. They are there to be nudged and pushed by us when they are low. But we usually move on in life without continuing our cherished friendships. We think that moving on is part of life. But the dying people wish they had more in touch of their friends, especially those from their early years. 

5. The dying also wish they had let themselves be happier. People often overlook the fact that happiness is a matter of choice. They end up looking causes of happiness in wealth, success, relationships and other aspects rather than trying to be unconditionally happy in their own current situation. They forget that happiness is 'now' or this particular moment. If able to life each moment as it is with  a positive outlook, people can find happiness. But this is a choice they have to make - whether to be miserable about what they do not have or be happy about what they have. It is a mindset and many people end up cultivating it in a wrong way. 

Bronnie also had her own ups and downs. After years in care of the dying, she had a dark bout of depression and almost ended her own life. But her positivity finally prevailed and she started afresh. She got into a good relationship, published a bestselling and became a mother at her mid-forties. Along with her book and the ideas she learned from the dying, her own life can be an inspiration for making human life more meaningful, happy and fulfilling irrespective of the circumstances. 

10:36 AM Sunday 13 June 2021 

आइतबार ३० जेष्ठ २०७८